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August 30 I'm Sorry, and I Apoligize........For being such a bad friend recently!! The foot thing and and the dental problems along with trying to get the sprinklers coodinated might sound like a good excuse, but the bottom line is that I have just been lazy. Maybe it's just the weather or the fact that I've been working here or the fact that I'm turning 60 and don't look distinguished and may have to take up smoking a pipe ( You know, The sweater with the elbow patches??) , but I just have rarely been here recently. Just enough to post a lame entry and make a few comments!! Well, that will be corrected tomorrow as I will be visiting all of your spaces!
Don't know if it was hot today where you ar but it was 103 here today and going up for the weekend!!! Our tiny thunderstorm last night didn't do much, but it did feel good! I was up at 2 am and I stood out there for an hour taking it in. We get them SO rarely!!
So again, I apolgize!! You are my friends and I appreciate you all!!! August 29 Tag, Yer it!!THE RULES OF THE TAG ARE: Each person posts the rules before their list, then list 8 new things about themselves. At the end of the post, that person tags 8 other people, or more letting them know that they have been tagged, and to come and read the post, so they know what they have to do.
#1 I was born in South Jersey #2 I spent two tours in Vietnam #3 I was drafted as a catcher to play minor league baseball #4 My mom and dad are still active at 86 years old #5 My sister is a missionary #6 All of my cars have been red #7 I played the trombone professionally as a jazz musician #8 I speak perfectly without vocal cords
I met with my new dentist today and it was a wonderful experience!! He and his staff were great: Very kind, understanding and funny! For finding a dentist online I think I was pretty lucky! He took X-rays, two different impressions and about 30 pics wih his digital camera!! He told me that my case was a real challenge so he will study everything this weekend and give me plans A, B, and C next Thursday!! I'm excited!! And of cousre he just couldn't resist extracting one tooth!! So just to counter his move, I resisted his attempt idea of numbing me first!! HA!! But he and his staff were all so nice and very encouraging!! And he promised to give me 'The Pill' for the extrtactions, root canals and any implants. I'm excited but NOT nervous..... for now! LOL I'll be eating corn on the cob soon!!! I tag Jess, Steph, Loach, Jade, Ebony Dragon, Dramma, Kat and Melissa!
August 28 Apparently, In Italy...You can run but you can't hide.
We received a strange letter in the mail today. It was postmarked Padova, Italy! Upon further scrutiny it turned out be a traffic ticket from Italy!! From TWO years ago!!!!!! Apparently they (Anthony was driving) blew through a toll road and were filmed. Now in their defense, it was their first time there, they were tired from the long flight and it was at night! But seriously, they broke the law and should be glad they didn't spend the night in an Italian jail!! Or a year or two!! Hey!! The law is the law!! Right? hehehehe!
But really!! It took two years?? I guess those Italians are VERY laid back!!
So I went on their website ( a strange place) and paid the ticket, which as 29 EUROS or about $60 U.S.
The whole thing amazed me. But I'm just glad that Mrs Serious won't be doing 'hard time' in Italy!
I did advise her that the fried bologna is OK but stay away from the red sauce!! Just in case!
I'm sure that Mrs Serious will be adding her 2 cents to this in a comment and that it will be my fault in the end! But that's just us!!
So if any of you visit Italy, drive carefully, obey the laws and PLEASE avoid the red sauce!!!!!! Trust me!
I promise to respond to my 'tag' tomorrow. August 27 Settle Down Now!Relax people! I went to see my doctor today (Dr Goodheart!) and he did some tests and took a gallon of blood. So I should get the results in a few days. He didn't seem all that concerned and thinks that whatever it was is gone, since I had a much lower one last night and none today. Maybe a spider bite but I don't remember being bitten so I'll just see how the tests come back!!
Ho Chi Minh returned today but didn't ring the doorbell! Just stared longingly across at my lawn. I learned today that my two neighbors fired him but his company phoned them and pleaded with both of them to hire him back! Seems he is losing clients left and right!! Hmmm, I wonder why?? Could it be that he's the worst gardener outside of Baghdad??? Oh. and the part of the lawn that was 'accidently' mowed seems to be OK and looks good!
Tuesday night is the big lunar eclipse, the longest one in seven years. Hope it's not cloudy here but not counting on it... Why is it that everytime there is either lunar or solar eclipse they tell us that it will be the last one for the next 200 years? Or until next year!
I thank all of you for your concern and I consider you my best friends. I have alot of blogging left in me; after all I'm still young!! I won't be 60 until September 24th!!!!
PS: I wrote this before I knew that I was tagged so I'll respond tomorrow, but really, 5 tags!!!!!! Quit picking on the guy!! LOL!
Glad This Weekend Is Finally Over!After the adventures with that stupid fever, Bert's promiscuity and Old Faithful I figured that the worst was over. WRONG!!
First I discover that my insane neighbor (Crazy Lady) has NOT been watering the patch of sodded yard that we 'donated' to her. Thank God that I dragged my sorry butt out there twice a day bacause she did squat!! She had thanked us over and over for getting rid of that eyesore and asked us how much she owed. It's 7/8ths her property so we told her No Charge but YOU have to take care of it! I wrote up a schedule for here and figured she was following it since the sod was at a critical stage. I watered it once a day and figured she was taking care of the rest. WRONG!!! She told me today that 'personally' she hadn't watered once but that maybe her Hillbilly son (who still lives at home at 43 years old) might have. OoooKay!!!!!
Also on Saturday I hired her gardeners because they seem to do an excellent job. Plus, they speak English. Well, the don't UNDERSTAND English but they know how to nod and say OK! So I 'splained to them that it was a newly sodded lawn and I wanted them to start mowing in two weeks! They both nodded and said 'OK'. I went back into the house and within 5 minutes I hear Mrs S screaming 'They're Mowing Your Lawn!!!!'. I hobble out and they have already mowed the 'parkway' (between the sidewalk and the street) and are ready to wreak havoc on the main lawn. I stop them and explain to then AGAIN that they will start mowing in TWO (2) (II) (DOS) weeks!!! They apologized, cleaned up the clippings and slinked away under my steadfast gaze!! But it seems that no damage was done and I'll give that part of the lawn extra water this week. (It does look good mowed!)
Had another fever attack tonight but it was MUCH lower (99.6) and only lasted a half hour.
And now the topper to my excellent weekend. I pick up my glasses and something isn't right! I can see OK but they seem uncomfortable. So I take them off and notice that one of the rubber things that go behind my ears is missing!! Oh no!! Must find before Bonnie does!!!! So the search is on! I grab my tools: flashlight, probe (backscratcher), and treats to distract Bonnie.
I searched every room four times while listening to Mrs S telling me that I should have bought new ones MONTHS ago!! (thanks for that!) Checked outside, inside, upsidedown side, under the bed in the bed and nothing!! I even checked Bonnie's mouth!! *sigh* So I sat down, exhausted, and reached back to scratched behind my ear............... *crickets chirping*........ You guessed it!! I'm such a tool!!!!!
But this debacle of a weekend is over so I get to start over!! Right? RIGHT?????
Oh!! The ONE good thing was that got a tiny bit of rain from Dean!!
August 26 Strange Start To The Weekend. As in three weird things that have happened so far... and it's only Saturday night. But maybe just typical of me.
I was sitting here Friday night, in front of my computer, reading posts and commenting, when I had that light headeded feeling.. the one you feel when you have a fever. So I took my temp and it was 102.4!! ????? So I took 2 aspirin and went to bed at 6 o'clock. Slept for a bit and took my temp again at 10:00. 104.2! Hmmm. At midnight it was 105.8!!!!! WHAT???? I felt fine except for the fever ! Why the temp? I had been taking aspirin and drinking water by the quart so I didn't get it! I woke up at 3 am and everything was soaked.... sheets, mattress, pillow and me!! WTF!! The fever had broke! I felt great but I never felt ill from the start of it! Any ideas why I would get a high fever and not feel ill??? Heat Stroke???
Second thing was Bert!! He found the planter and again did his tortoise thing to it!! This time from the inside. I tried to get a pic but as usual the battery was dead!! I promise to get pics when he has recovered!
Lastly was an exciting scene on our street!! An idiot ran into a fire hydrant!!! It was a thing of beauty!!!! LOL!! And of course it was a hit and run. I'm enclosing pics of it.
I'll be here tomorrow to visit all of your spaces!
Oh. And another great movie? 'Wild Hogs'! Don't laugh until you watch it! Then you will!!!
Have a GREAT Sunday!!
August 22 Deja VuJust a quicky tonight, because Mrs Serious and I have been watching a GREAT movie for the last, ooooh, let's say six hours! Well the movie was only two hours but you have to watch the deleted scenes, and in this case, the making of the movie!! That can take awhile. It was GREAT!!!
Bambi was SOOOOO GOOD!! Have you SEEN it???? Well, good! Because that's NOT what we watched!
We watched a 2006 movie titled Deja Vu, starring Denzel Washington. You know him! Tall, dark and handsome?? Well, 2 out of 3 isn't bad!! LOL
What a fabulous, suspenseful, at times confusing film. Part comedy, suspense, thriller, love story and science fiction..... almost Hitchcock*ian... Denzel was, well.... Denzel!
If you haven't seen it, then why are you just sitting there??
5 out of 5 stars on the Serious Scale!! And 2 thumbs up while I still have 2 thumbs!!
Just When i Thought....I couldn't lose any more body parts, I have just lost a few more!! So let's take a quick inventory, shall we??
This should be fun!!
Lost my tonsils at 10, and again at 13!!
My vocal cords were lost after throat cancer in 1985, although I learned to speak without them after a month!
Lost a big toe and a few minor ones last year!!
No Biggie!!
Tonight I lost a tooth!! A MAJOR ONE!!! Right up front and matching the ones I've lost on the bottom!! WOW!! I can make Mrs Serious earrings!!! How cool is that?? So now I either look lke a jack-o-lantern or the banjo player from 'Deliverance'! Remember my gardener?? Like HIM!!!
The good news is that I have a dentist who promised to make me handsome again!! Yeah!! RIGHT!! Again?????
More good news? I can eat without pain!! The other good news? I get to have the rest of my teeth extracted and get brand new ones!! I'm excited!! I'm thinking about having him pull the teeth out WITHOUT any sort of numbing thing!! I have a HIGH pain threshold! Maybe I'll receive a trophy or something!
See? When I was young, in the 50's, my mom and dad had a dentist who was VERY old!! Dr, Plugey!! He didn't beleive in novicaine except for extractions! Grinding for fillings?? NOTHING!!
I was eight!! This guy looked like Peter Lorrie and scared the crap out of me!!! And then Hell ensued!! I had nightmares about him where he was replaced by alligators... gaping at my open mouth while I was strapped down!! Much worse than Jane's dreams!!
He eventually DIED!!!! (bless his evil soul!) And I found a new dentist!! He was much younger!! On my first visit he determined that I needed some drilling done!! ok... But when he came at me with a novicaine-filled syringe I told him NO!! I don't use shots!!
He turned grey but performed the procedure!!
The next time I came in he again had that evil needle in his hand!! Again I protested but he said that he COULD NOT drill into my teeth again without Novacaine!! So I got the shot!!
Talk about a revelation!!! NO PAIN!!!!!!
Bottom line is that I still don't trust Dentists!!
But I've heard that the little blue pills work GREAT!!
Much better than Dr. Plugey!!
Now if only my hips and knees hold out!
August 20 The Constant GardenerI was pretty sure I had posted about this blithering idiot before but I can't find it. The Vietnamese gardener I used up until the time we decided to get sod. (Aside: He asked if I needed him to mow when the yard was DIRT!!!!)
Nuff said.
He was and still is the laziest gardener I have ever seen! Does the bare minimum, hardly cleans up and recently raised his fees! I have fired him 3 times now but he still show's up every other week, leaning on the doorbell at 6:30 AM! As far as I can remember, our last conversation went pretty much like this:
HIM: You want mow?
Me: NO!
Him: Your lawn look like crap!!
Me: It's dirt, you moron!
Him: Next week?
Me: Go Away!!
Him: OK! Next week!!
Me: I have a gun!!
Him: See you next week!
*Sigh*
That was like two months ago! And who happens to show up at my front door this morning at 6:30 LEANING on the doorbell?? You guessed it!! Ho Chi Minh!! Wanting to mow! I explained to him that it was NEW sod and could not be walked on for 3 weeks or mowed for a month!! He did a few calculations on his abacus and declared that he would be here NEXT WEEK!! I told him no and that it would be another 3 weeks before I wanted it mowed and also that HE would not be inflicting his brutal tortue on it!! He replied that he understood about new sod but hoped I would change my mind. I told him I would think about it. He then turned around and walked DIRECTLY across the lawn!! I yelled at him and he said OOPS, but continued walking across the rest of the lawn and the parkway portion too!
Guess who will NOT be getting hired!! Jerk!!! August 18 Buzz's Birthday! Well, as close as we can tell. We think he's like 4 or 5 but to us he is still 3. As you may or may not know, Buzz is a rescue dog that we got from a city shelter two years ago. When we got him he was totally covered with ticks, had a serious ear infection, and was infected with parvovirus and corona-virus. He was in BAD shape!
Our Vet encouraged us to give him back to the shelter because of all of his problems but we refused!! He was just too nice of a dog a deserved another chance in life. So we took him to our vet, but he refused to let Buzz enter thru the front door and instead made me enter him thru the back door. Some Tick removal, some medications and much love later and Buzz was back to being a normal dog.
At the time we still had Baker, who was a beautiful 13 year-old Sheltie who unfortunately was slowly dying. He and Buzz became best of friends but within a few months it was obvious that Baker needed to be put down. The wonderful Vet that we have arranged it so that we could have the 'putting down' performed in our home. Of course it was sad, but we felt it was much better for Baker and us!! Buzz just sat and watched, not quite sure what was happening,
Fast forward 6 months. Buzz wakes up and jumps out of bed. We hear this horrible HOWL!! Buzz cannot stand or move!! We gently bundle him up and rush to our Vet!! After a thorough evaluation he tells ud that Buzz has ruptured 6 disks in his spine and blood is seeping into his spinal fluid!! He gives us the address of an animal hospital, calls ahead and sends us on our way!
By now, Buzz is in great pain and howling!! We get to the the hospital and are met by a very nice English doctor. He performs a few X-rays and a CAT scan and comfirms that Buzz has indeed ruptured 4 or mose disks. He then informs us that he can 'repair' Buzz's spine with a "Spine Transplant" using plastic disks to replace the ruptured ones. Hmmmm.....
Do we really want to do this?? And if so, WHY??
It's only a dog that we have had for less than a year!!
And the cost will be $4000!!!
Are we crazy???????????????
Guess so...!
The surgery went perfectly!! It took Buzz 4 months until he could even THINK about standing. In the meantime he would drag his hind legs around so that his 'knees' (do dogs have knees?) and the top of his feet were always a bloody mess! Our job was to hold his butt up in the morning and late afternoon so he could poop. The wrap a towel around his waist, hold it up, and walk him.
After 4 weeks, not much progress had been made, although his doctor beleived that Buzz was healing nicely.
Then we had a brainstorm!!! Mrs Serious' cousin lives a few blocks away and he has a POOL!! With hispermission, we took Buzz there and literally threw him in the pool!! Amazingly, Buzz began swimming, and using his hind legs!!! We let him swim around for 30 minutes that first day and when he came out, he Walked!!
Since then he has walked almost perfectly, although there's still a little hitch in his giddyup!!
So today we are celebrating Buzz!! For not only his birthday, but for being for one of the toughest guys I have ever known!!
Happy Birthday BUZZ!!!! August 15 Shhhhhh!!!Pleez don't tell our dad!! It's his 3 dogs, Buzz, Bonnie and Baxter. Bert would be here too but he's outside doing nasty turtle things to some sorta planter!! Ewww!!! If dad knew we were using his computer he would be very upset so please don't tell him, OK? I, Buzz, am typing this. Not because I'm the smartest but because I have the hugest thumbs!!
So anyhow, we have a few issues with dad, and mom, and although they don't know it, we know what they do on the computer and where their friends are. HERE!!!
The first complaint comes from Bonnie (my little bitch of a sister!)
'Alright fat-boy!! Back off before I kick your lazy butt AGAIN!!! My complaint is about the frickin' lack of ball-playing time I get!! The idiots keep buying them but dad refuses to get his lazy ass up to actually THROW them to me!! That's right... ME!! Cause these stupid brothers of mine couldn't catch a cold!!! I consider all toys brought into this house as MINE!! I just need a little more action from lard-ass!! I've about had it!!!'
Wow!! Bonnie seems a little testy tonight. Baxter is hiding in the corner so I guess I'll go next, if Bonnie will quit gnawing on my leg!
'I don't really have a complaint (Bonnie put us up to this!) but here's something that does annoy me. FOOD!!! Just not enough!! I could use ALOT more!! Plus Bonnie steals mine which I don't think is very fair! Am I not right?? Oh sure, I get fed in the morning and at night but it's that crappy dry food and he's always slipping things into it like heartworm pills and other crap! Little does he know that I spit them out and there's a huge pile of them under the fridge. Woof Woof!!! I guess I'm saying that I need more treats during the day and maybe a pig's ear chew more often than once a month!! Hmmm, Guess I DID have a complaint!'
Here comes Baxter so I guess he's ready to bare his little doggy soul. But he has to hurry before mom and dad show up!
'Ummm..... hi I'm Baxter! I'm kinda shy and don't talk (bark) alot but my real complaint is not with mommy and daddy but with these two here!!! My so-called brother and sister!! They are bullies and are always picking on me!! They won't share the toys with me, steal my treats, and if I hadn't learned to eat really fast, they would steal my food too!! No wonder I spend half of the day hiding under the bedsheets!! So I guess that's about it! Here's Big Bro Buzz!'
OK!! We just heard the car pull up so we have to go!! I just wanted to add that we have finally gotten used to that weird creature they call Bert, and Bonnie has stopped chewing on his face! Thanks for letting us have a doggy vent!! BONNIE!!!! Knock that off!!!!!!
We'll be back!! Shhhhhh!!!!!! August 12 Things Are Starting To Come Together... Spent the better part of the weekend moving things around, arranging the patio, deciding which of the old plants to keep and which ones to replace!! Tomorrow I'll be assembling 2 huge plant racks so I'll have a place for my bonsai to nest. It's just been so hot!! And hotter tomorrow!!! I've been sweating like Dan Quayle at a spelling bee!!! However, it's rather cool under the patio roof with the ocean breezes blowing through, so I'll be doing the assembling there!
We have eaten dinner every night on the patio since it was put up and it has been very pleasent. We turn on some music and enjoy the cool of the evening. My dogs seem to like it too! I find them lying in it's shade during the heat of the day.
Yesterday, Mrs S replaced ALL of the plants in our atrium and it looks much better! My job is to keep them alive. If any happen to die, I'll blame her for 'improper planting technique'!
Bert the Turtle Update:
Old Bert (70 years old) has been very active recently! I still haven't placed his 'girlfriend' (the wood planter) in the yard yet and yes, we have had words! I promised him THIS WEEK!!! But in the meantime he has been pigging out!! On a typical day he's been eating 1/4 head of lettuce, 1/2 of a peach or nectarine and a few chunks of watermelon. Not to mention the grass in the backyard!! It's difficult to tell if a turtle is getting fat but he sure seems happy!! He still has his mind set on escaping though, no matter how well he is fed. Whenever I open the back gate he comes 'racing' in an attempt to get out!! He always has such a determined look on his little tortoise face, but a tortoise's 'racing' is a human's 'slowly shuffling', so his chances are nil!! But darned if he doesn't keep trying! Maybe he just REALLY wants his 'girlfriend' back!! My BAD!!
Maybe I'll take pics of the atrium tomorrow and the patio with actual furniture on it! Oh!! And the new lawn seems to be growing!! The schedule is to water it 3 times a day for a week, then twice a day for a week and finally once a day for the third week. After that, a normal schedule of once every other day. I have to wait a month until the first mowing and it should be pretty tall by then. Now I have to find a mowing service. One that only mows the same type of grass that I have. It seems that there is a risk of seeds from other grasses being brought in otherwise! And to quote my landscaper, "And we don't want that now, do we??" Now how 'anal' is that??? Anyhow, the search is on, but I have a month. I'd do it myself except for my feet and my stoma which makes it very uncomfortable. The backyard is enough for me...
So I guess that's it! An update from the Serious household!!! Hope you all have a great week. Try to stay cool and stay out of trouble!!!
Cya!!
August 09 Finally, The Renovations are DONE!!!After almost 2 months to the day since the palm trees were removed, the final job was completed today.... at 4:43 PM, PDT. Yes, I've been counting the minutes! The landscape guys were the hardest workers we hired and did a super job! There were several 'extra' things I asked him to do and he did all of them a no charge!! The palm tree removers and the garage door guy were very good too. As for 'Dad'?? No comment! He had to be the most clumsy, inept handyman around but somehow he got the jobs done.
Anyhow, I have posted a photo album of the lawn's reicarnation from right after the palm trees were romoved until tonight! Mrs Serious and I are very pleased with the final results: me for the lawn and the patio and her for the new flower bed and her office. Next projects? (next year!) Having the floors re-tiled and new kitchen cabinets installed. I can't wait!!
 August 08 Sod Party at the Serious House Tomorrow~Finally, after a month plus, tomorrow is the final day of the renovation ordeal! Woooo Hoooo!! DAD finished up his work today, the new plants were planted under the picture window, and the dirt in the yard is ready to have sod placed upon it!! I've been taking pictures of the yard work since it started and tomorrow I'll post a pictorial anthology!!! By the weekend the nightmare will be over. I'm soooo excited!! Now if I can only figure out how to program the timer for the sprinklers.........! Come back tomorrow for the pics!! August 07 My Computer Called In SickYep!! Picked up a virus today. Don't worry though, He'a all better now. I had been online for about 2 hours when my anti-virus software (ZoneAlarm) decided to perform one of it's automatic scans. When it had finished I had not one, or two but THREE viruses!! All three were of the medium level variety but one contained the always dreaded word 'Trojan'!!!! I quarantined them but apparently one or all of them had already performed their intended duties. When I rebooted after the scan, I could not get to the login page and the screen would go blank. However the computer itself was still running. Hmmmm I tried several remedies but finally had to make the 'I don't want to' phone call to........ DELL TECH SUPPORT!!!!!
I know!! But this was MUCH different.
I was connected to tech #01161437, and Sohail was his name. And yes, he seemed to be in India. But then something shocking happened! He was polite, knowledgable and very patient!!! He had me shut off my computer, turn it on again and go into the 'safe mode' at which point he had me run a 'system restore' back to 2 days ago!! (Why didn't I think of that?? GRRRRRR!!!!) And Voila!!!! Viruses gone and rebooting working again!
But that's not the best part! He asked if he had my permission to log onto my computer through DellConnect and change some of my settings and delete about 3000 files that were junk to make my computer run faster! I, of course, said Sure!! He proceeded to work on my computer for TWO HOURS!!!! He even found a program (Limewire) that was causing issues and removed it after asking for my permission.
But that's not all!! He then proceeded to send me an email telling me that if I had any issues in the future to just reply to his email, rather than phoning Tech Support, and he would deal with it directly!! What a guy!!! My own personal Techie!!!!
I've heard all kinds of horror stories concerning Dell's tech support (almost as bad as Compaq's) but you won't hear a bad word about Dell from me!! Maybe they heard the rumors and did something about it!!
At any rate, I'm back up and the computer is running faster than ever!! Vroooom Vroooom!
August 05 For The Girls!Mr. Serious is on KP duty so thought I would commandeer his computer, and his blog! This is Mrs. S's time to blog, so go get your martini and/or margarita, beach towel and chocolate! Let's have us some girl fun!!! Wheee!!!
Actually, this really isn't going to be that much fun because what I want to talk about is rather painful. I think that's why I suggested the alcohol. Ok, to begin with I just turned 50. Among the other "pains" of growing older (i.e. wrinkles, saggy boobs, inconsistent periods, etc.)... sorry guys, I hope that last one didn't make you guys drop out. Ok...it was with horror that I discovered a few stray hairs in the most amazing places.
I don't want to get too graphic, but I just couldn't keep up with a tweezer (did I mention my eyesite is also failing?). Ok, so I saw a commercial for the "tweezie"...wow, it looked simple, easy and painless. The answer to my prayers....I didn't even need to see the forest to eliminate them!! I was tripping over myself getting the order in. Soooo....the day arrives and my "tweezie" comes (just in time for my trip to Cabo...the girls will so envy my silken, hairless self)...and here I go. Alone (I haven't mentioned this to Mr. yet...it is quite personal, after all...and we all know the story of his haircutting skills) I begin my treatment. Focused, sober, and ready to kill the hairy beast, I insert the batteries and prepare for war.
With my 10x mirror there's not a hair that can hide. Hmmm, when I turn it on it has a nice hum...this won't hurt, right? "Holycrapmotherofallthatswrongcrapinacrapola"......ok, ok....maybe I put the wrong batteries in....
After my eyes adjusted, stop watering and my head stopped humming I tried it again. Maybe my feet were in a puddle of water, maybe I accidentally used Mr. S's foot therapy thingy...something was really wrong.
I ran from the room like a little girl, hiding my "tweezie" amongst my other make-up "girlie" things that I know no man will ever investigate.
And then I just thought about what I had done wrong.
I know...I need to be drunk to do this!!
Cool. I love a new plan.
Fast forward, drunk didn't work (it actually hurt worse and I cried even harder) and I'm embarrassed that I won't be taking up the "money back guarantee" offer for returns. Guess I'll just chalk it up to the "vanity" writeoff.
I'll have to rely on my original plan...my girlfriends will tell me when I have spinach in my teeth, "wild" hairs anywhere and toilet paper on my shoes....
Let's eat that chocolate now!!
BTW! 'As seen on TV, My Ass!!!'
AnswersAugust 05
Answers!Not alot went on here at the Serious household except for the scarey post from Jane!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!! Just the normal 'Saturday' things!! Pressure washing the stucco, washing all of the windows and hanging the new tiles in the patio. OH! And watching Bert go more crazy by the minute!! Which brings up this!
A few of you have asked how I know that Bert is 'horny' and what he does about it!! Well see, he has a 'girlfriend'!! An inanimate one that is truly a victim of his lust!! It's a....... Planter!! Something about this planter just gets him going!!
The first time they 'met', Mrs Serious and I were in the backyard and we heard these horrible, weird grunting sounds!! There was Bert, having his way with this planter!!
At first Mrs S seemed disgusted, until she told me to grab her a chair and the camera. Here are the eyewitness pics taken by her and embellished by Steph!! Good job Steph!! (Funny thing is, Steph has visited us at least 3 times and has never seen Bert!!) He's a lurker!! I'll be putting the planter in the yard tomorrow just to see if Bert remembers. And if he does?? I'll take more pics! (I'm SUCH a voyeur!!!!) August 04 Bert ReduxBack in march of this year I posted a story about our Desert Tortoise, Bert, on my since deleted space. I'm sure that many of you remember it, but since then I have added many new friends, something took place today that made me feel I should do a repost!
A little background first: We called AT&T to repair Mrs Serious' fax line and they sent out someone from CTS, a sub-contractor of theirs. Here is the correspondence that that took place:
Dear Ms. Palumbo,
Your technician, Randy Baker, just completed a repair job at my home. I have to tell you what happened as I am beside myself with joy. I have owned a tortoise (his name is Bert) for 45 years (I was only five when I got him and he is actually over 60 now!) who has been a part of our life and household forever. About three years ago, he simply dissappeared. We found no signs of him digging out (we have cinder block walls) so the only thing we could figure was that someone stole him. When Randy emerged from beneath our house, he asked if we owned a tortoise. You can only imagine my reaction! He was in a place that Randy could not get to, so couldn't tell if he was still alive. Of course, there was no way that he could be. I think Randy saw my sorrow and insisted on going back in (with a big hook thing) and at least trying to find out. Image my elation when both Randy and Bert emerged from the crawl space...ALIVE!!! It was truly a miracle that he could survive so long without food or water. Randy would absolutely not accept a reward, so I thought I could at least let you know what a fabulous thing he did for us (oh, and by the way, he did a great job on fixing my fax line)! How rare it is to find in today's world an employee that will go over and above the call of duty, he is surely one of a kind. Randy is truly my hero (and Bert's!) and I can never repay him for finding my long lost friend. Without Randy, I'm sure he wouldn't have survived much longer. A VERY satisfied customer, And their response:
Hi Rebecca, Thank you for your email and the pictures. With your permission, I’d like to include your story and the picture of you, Randy & Bert in the next issue of our company newsletter. It really is amazing that he was able to find Bert- he’s quite the big boy! (Randy, that is!)I have also forwarded on your email internally to Randy’s manager and other members of our executive team.
Gina Well, we received 4 copies of the newsletter today in the mail!!
Here are the photos from the newsletter. I thought it was very cool of them to do that. So unlike phone companies, but I guess not with subcontractors.
Now! How could a creature live for 3 years, under our house, with no food or water?? Well. the only thing that I can come up with is that tortoises hibernate during the winter so I suppose that he did just that... for 3 YEARS!!! No wonder they live so long!!! He'll probably outlive me!! And now he's horny!! Look out Steph!!
In other news, got the sprinklers finished and they work great!! I was sure to do an inspection and make sure that all of the soil was covered. Monday they will be adding plants under the picture window (our choice! We pay wholesale and they plant for free!!), and Tuesday , roto-tilling and leveling out the soil.
Wednesday they will add soil amendments and on Thursday the sod arrives!!
Then the watering begins... And learning to program the timer! The first week, 3 times a day for ten minutes, week two, 2 times a day and the third week once a day!! After that it's once every other day and it can be mowed!!
We haved lived here for 25 years, so after that long watering with a hose, I'm very excited. Especially since I can program the sprinklers to start just when Mrs Serious is stepping into the shower!! Evil I am!!!
Hope you all have a SUPER weekend!!
August 02 A Change Of Pace!I'm pretty sure that many of you, if not ALL, are bored to tears from reading about all of the renovations going on at the Serious house. I'm getting bored myself. So tonight I PROMISE not to talk about all of that stuff (except that ALL of the sprinklers were installed today!! hehehe), Ahem...
Mrs Serious and I love watching movies but hate sitting in a theatre, so we have a 45" TV and Netflix. The bad news is, we are always 6 months behind everyone else. The good news is, we get to learn what movies to watch and what NOT to watch by word-of mouth! Tonight we hit the jackpot!
Saw 'The Pursuit Of Happyness' with Will Smith and we loved it!! Now I realize that some, most, or ALL of you have probably seen it but if you haven't, it's a MUST SEE film! How to decribe it..... Entertaining, frustrating, funny, sad, hopeful, excruciating and uplifting!! Just a wonderful film! 5 Stars!
Now let's see. What did I accomplish today? Ummm, Absolutely NOTHING!! Watched a baseball game (Phillies WON!!!), checked on the lawn guys, threw a few balls at.... I mean TO the dogs and grilled a minmial dinner!! Minimal because I screwd up!! Mrs S found the garage fridge's freezer door open this morning... which it had been ALL NIGHT!!! So after trashing about $200 worth of beef, chicken and fish, I guess I'll be shopping tomorrow!! I swore to her that gremlins snuck in and did it but she's NOT buying it!! She knows me WAY too well!
The aftermath of the County Fair on my feet?? NOTHING!! They feel even better!! It seems that excercising them is the best thing for them. Along with the electronic thing!!
Bert, our desert tortoise (remember him?) has been very active lately!! Eating lots of grass (Yeah, yeah!! I'll mow SOON!!) and the lettuce and fruit we put out for him!! I'm thinking that he's getting ready to mate... with something!! The last time it was with a planter!?!? I still have the planter and 'she's' (the planter) ready to go but the dogs seem nervous!! Who can blame them?? We all know how quickly a tortoise can 'make it's move' and jump on and mount an unsuspecting victim. Just ask Steph!! ......Wait! That came out wrong!! Steph just has PICS!!! NO MOUNTING!!!!! (Sorry Steph...) Steph?? STEPH???
Oh well, at least tomorrow is FRIDAY!!! Have a Great weekend al!!!!!!
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